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Not quite ready to take that first step to change your life? Read below to find out why!

I bet you’ve at least once in your life felt the need to change something, only to find that although the theory sounded great, you actually weren’t quite there yet. Not quite ready to let go and embark on a new adventure. And then at some point, something tipped the balance, and off you went.

I’d been thinking for a few years about doing my own thing, dreaming about working for myself and spending my working days doing what I wanted to do, but the advantages of corporate life seemed to outweigh the advantages of self-employment. During the past year of my corporate life however, I became really disillusioned with my job, but it was not until I picked up a book that showed me an alternative way of living my life that I actually handed in my notice. I had finally overcome my own resistance to changing my life.

Resistance comes in many shapes and forms – fear, defensiveness, avoidance, excuses and so on. There are lots of reasons why we might be reluctant to change, but we often don’t fully realise why or have a plan to help us through the transition process.

I am a big fan of the change equation. The change equation can really help you think through where you are in your transition process today, and where you might want to focus your energy. It looks more complicated than it is – so I won’t share that with you until I’ve explained!

Essentially it says that to tip the balance to overcome our own resistance to change, we need to be dissatisfied with the status quo, have a vision of a positive future state, and take some first steps in the direction of the vision. As you can see, quite a lot has to happen before you are ready to quit the old, and embrace the new!

Use the questions below to start unravelling your personal situation and decide how best to move ahead.

* Dissatisfaction with status quo: Becoming aware of what is not working for you in your current situation will help mobilise your internal resources to push for change. When it becomes unacceptable to remain in the current situation, you will find more energy to work through the change.

Ask yourself: How unhappy are you with the current situation? What are the risks of continuing what you are doing today? What elements of the situation today are you most dissatisfied with?

* Positive Vision of the Future: Painting a realistic picture of a more positive future as well as allowing yourself to dream will give you something to work towards and to remind you why it is worth putting in the effort.

Ask yourself: If you change your situation, where could you be one month, one year, 5 years from now? What would your ideal future look like – what would you do differently? What are the advantages of changing what you are doing today?

* First steps: Until you get going you won’t believe that it is really possible. Even by taking baby steps you can get closer to your goal, and with every step you take, you will gain the confidence to take another step… and before you know it, your own resistance to change will have melted away!

Ask yourself: What are the first 3 goals you can set yourself? Who can help you change (there is no need to do it all alone)? What will you do, and when, in order to start moving in the right direction? How can your strengths and talents help you with your first few steps?

Once these three elements weigh more heavily than your reluctance to change, great things will begin to happen…. as I found out myself! So which one of the three will you think about today?

Oh, and here is the formula to pin on your fridge as a daily reminder 🙂

Change equation formula

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a great week!

Sarah

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3 questions to help you identify your talents!

Discussing the notion of strengths and talents recently, an acquaintance was adamant that she had no talents. “What would you do with people like me?” she asked. Great question! First of all, I don’t believe anyone has no talents at all. In fact, I was pretty sure that anyone who knew her would be able to call out at least one strength that they had observed in her recently. Even I could and I had only met her 2 hours previously.

But it did raise some interesting questions. Why is it that some people do not recognise their own strengths? How can you help those who are convinced of their own inconspicuousness identify their talents? Is it even important to know your talents?

Talents are your innate abilities that can be developed into strengths with practice and application. You may have a talent such as strategic thinking that you have not yet had the opportunity to fully utilise due to circumstances of work or life. By knowing that this is a talent however, you can begin to seek out situations in which you can make use of this particular talent, grow it, and learn how to use it to your full advantage. This is a process that takes time, but since you are using a skill you have a natural pre-disposition for, it will come naturally to you and will most likely even be fun!

While there are some great assessments out there that make sense to take if you want to get deeper into the subject matter, there are a few basic questions that can help you figure out where your talents lie…

  1. What were you doing the last time you were enjoying yourself and lost track of time? Chances are that you were exercising one of your talents. Losing yourself in the “flow” of a task is a strong sign that the task is meaningful to you and that it comes naturally to you.
  2. What do your friends appreciate about you? False modesty is inappropriate 🙂 I am sure your friends have called out traits that they admire in you – your creativity, your self confidence, your ability to chat to strangers about anything 30 seconds after meeting them, your listening skills, your organisational skills, your humour and so on. “I don’t know how you do it” or “I wish I could do that” is always a good hint.
  3. What comes easily to you? What do you find really easy to do that others seem to struggle with? When have you been surprised that another person struggled to do something that you find simple? Your “normal” talent is very likely another person’s development need!
  4. Last but not least (the bonus question!) – ask somebody who knows you! Ideally, somebody you trust who has seen you operate in a variety of situations – ask them what skill they most value in you. You might be surprised!

Once you have your list of talents, take a moment to reflect on them. Any surprises? How much do you really use these strengths in your daily life? And finally, how can you grow and apply these skills every day to help you become even more successful at what you do? I challenge you to try out one idea this week…!

Have a great day!

Sarah

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How can Positive Psychology change YOUR life?

I first came across the idea of Positive Psychology when a colleague introduced me to the book “StrengthsFinder 2.0” (by Tom Rath, Gallup Press, 2007), which she was using for a team building workshop. While the concept of identifying strengths sounded interesting, it wasn’t until I took the assessment myself a couple of years later that I really had my “aha” moment. In fact, reading the summary of my strengths opened my eyes to the reasons that I was feeling out of place in my current role as HR Manager. While I don’t want to bore you with the details of my StrengthsFinder profile at this point, it was essentially telling me that I was someone who thrived on bringing people together and understanding individuals’ thought processes. This would explain why, as I was becoming increasingly senior and more involved in strategic and organisational HR issues, I was becoming less interested in the work. I was essentially being promoted out of my area of talent, and indeed, area of interest. I was being told to “Think Big”, when actually I was best at thinking about people.

“Positive Psychology” has been around for many years, although it has really started to gain momentum in the past decade. The name most closely associated with the rise of Positive Psychology is Martin Seligman, Professor at the University of Pennsylvania, who has published many insightful books on his research and findings in this area. His most recent book, “Flourish”, (2011) teaches the elements of well-being and how to increase wellbeing. He is also know for his studies in Learned Optimism (2006) and Authentic Happiness (2003).

Positive Psychology, as defined by the Positive Psychology Center (PPC) at the University of Pennsylvania, “is the scientific study of the strengths and virtues that enable individuals and communities to thrive. The field is founded on the belief that people want to lead meaningful and fulfilling lives, to cultivate what is best within themselves, and to enhance their experiences of love, work, and play.”

To my mind, the most important piece of this definition is that we don’t want to lead different kinds of lives at home and at work. We don’t want to spend our working days working on personal development areas that we don’t really want to (or can’t sufficiently improve on), and return home to be who we really are. We want to find meaning and be able to flourish in all aspects of our lives. That’s why I decided to reevaluate my career, and choose a direction that allows me to do what I do best and enjoy most, every day, while developing and growing my talents.

There are many more aspects of Positive Psychology I’d like to share with you, but for new I’ll leave you with this video of Martin Seligman discussing the topic on ted.com.

Enjoy!