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When no change is the right way forward

Usually, when we think of coaching, we imagine a situation in which a person wants to achieve a goal, and works with a coach to find ways of reaching it. Going after the next great thing will make you happy. Keep on moving at all times. Makes sense, right? Well, quite honestly, I am not so sure that’s always true. A while back I read a blog post in which a coach described how they had “let go” of a client because the client was “always making excuses”. They did not want to work with someone who was not willing to change.

Which leads me to the topic of this post … but what if not changing is EXACTLY the right way forward at times? There are several situations in which the coaching process might lead you to the conclusion that, actually, changing things would not be the right thing to do.

So when might it make sense not to press on with your goals?

Situation 1) You are actually quite content with the current situation. We are often bombarded by well-meaning friends, family and ideals presented in the media that we should be aiming for the next great thing – do more exercise, take that next career step, eat an ultra-healthy diet and so on. That guilty voice is telling you that you have to makes those changes. But imagine yourself ten years down the line… if you are absolutely honest with yourself … are you actually quite happy with that picture of you curled up on the sofa with a mug of hot chocolate in your hand? Then maybe you just need to give yourself permission to enjoy living the life you are living now. Be a rebel!

Situation 2) You need to do some groundwork first. Even if you don’t like the picture you see of your future self, there may still be some things you need to work on before you can start working on achieving that goal. Perhaps there is an underlying confidence issue, perhaps you don’t yet fully see the benefits of changing, perhaps you need to learn some other skills first, perhaps you haven’t found that passion that will help you more to a new goal. It’s ok. It’s your life – you change things when you are ready. In the meantime build those new skills and work on those other areas … ultimately they most likely will lead you towards achieving other, and perhaps bigger, goals.

Situation 3) It’s just not the right time … yet. It’s happened to me a few times that I have picked up a book, tried to read it and put it away again. Five or ten years later I’ve picked up the same book again and loved it. It’s the same with change … sometimes the timing is just wrong. If that’s the case, step back, and continue doing what you always did until you hear that inner voice tell you “it’s time, I’m ready now”.

In fact, a client-centered approach will always start with the premise that you know what is right for you and your wellbeing in life, and that the coach is simply a facilitator to unlock that knowledge. So, the next time you think you need to change something, but it doesn’t quite stack up, take a step back and listen to that inner voice. If none of the identified options to take action seem to make sense to you, or indeed if your inner voice is yelling out to you to back off and let sleeping dogs lie, then perhaps you might want to follow your own advice!

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3 steps towards finding your center as a leader

A couple of years ago a former colleague recommended a book that she knew of from her time at McKinsey. I downloaded it onto my Kindle, but I never found the time to read it until recently, when I began browsing the introduction and realized that the ideas presented in the book were completely in line with my passion for all things positive. As I read each chapter, and read the case studies, I found myself thinking that everyone should make the time to read it!

The book is called “How remarkable women lead: a breakthrough model for work and life” by Barsh,  Cranston & Lewis (2009) (or read this summary if you are pressed for time!).

While the McKinsey research that lead to the writing of the book and the development of the Centered Leadership Model was originally very much focused on women, the model can be and has since been applied in practice to male and female leaders.

Talent, the ambition to lead, as well as the ability to adapt and change may be the basis for a successful career, but those at the top benefit from additional skills that are not necessarily discussed in a typical career development conversation! And while the model particularly focuses on developing leaders, I really believe that anyone can benefit from the lessons shared in the book.

Those leaders that stand out from the crowd have often developed capabilities in five interrelated areas:

Meaning: “finding your strengths and putting them to work in the service of an inspiring purpose”

Energizing: “managing energy, or knowing where your energy comes from, where it goes, and what you can do to manage it”

Framing: “positive framing, or adopting a more constructive way to view your world, expand your horizons, and gain the resilience to move ahead even when bad things happen”

Connecting: “identifying who can help you grow, building stronger relationships, and increasing your sense of belonging”

Engaging: “finding your voice, becoming self-reliant and confident by accepting opportunities and the inherent risks they bring, and collaborating with others”

(Descriptions quoted from the above-mentioned 2008 McKinsey summary report “Centered Leadership – how talented women thrive”)

So what’s in it for you? My take on this as a coach is that you can use this model to really quickly assess what areas in your work & life will help you in your career development, and which areas you might want to invest in.

Why not get started now? Step 1: Rate your satisfaction with each of these areas on a scale of 1-10. Step 2: Based on your assessment, what areas do you think might benefit from additional attention and care? Step 3: What can you do today to move the needle in the right direction and increase your satisfaction rating in these areas by one or two points?

Ensuring your career is meaningful to you, taking care of your energy levels, building a support network, learning how to bounce back from adversity and speaking up for what you believe in are all really positive steps to take and will benefit you not only at work but also in your personal life. And it will make you more authentic – after all, when you know who you are and what you are passionate about, you become so much more credible and inspirational!

Have a great week!

Best,

Sarah

N.B. the book “Centered leadership: Leading with Purpose, Clarity & Impact” was published in 2014 (Barsh, J., 2014, Crown Business), and McKinsey offer their Centered Leadership Program to all leaders looking to develop their skills.